Learning to be a parent is interesting to say the least. Just when you think you are figuring things out, everything changes! It is so exciting and fun, but also exhausting and I've never second guessed myself and my abilities as much in my life as I have the last 2 weeks! Thanks to family and friends advice we are seeing the light again!
For the first few months of Charlie's life the techniques of "The Happiest baby on the Block" worked miracles and I would recommend it to ANYONE! The idea of the 5 S's (swaddle, side/stomach position, shooshing, sucking (pacifier), swaying -more like a jiggle) worked so well for us to soothe and put Charlie-Marie to sleep. She even started sleeping longer (up to 7 hours) at night. Slowly (around 2 months) it started to take longer for it to work and sometimes took several tries to put her down to sleep. The last time the full technique worked for us was on her 3 month mark on the flight home from Washington (thank goodness it worked there!). That night she would NOT be put to sleep. She refused her pacifier (and has never taken it again since - I guess that makes weaning easy, but I don't think
I was ready for it!) I spent hours trying to calm her and I tried EVERYTHING! Over the next few days everything started spiraling out of control as she fought sleep but was exhausted. She stopped eating well because she would fall asleep nursing, but wake up when I tried to put her down just to fall back asleep when I tried to feed her again. She became less content when awake and fussy most of the time. She was beyond exhausted, but would not be soothed until she crashed out of pure exhaustion and even then she would not stay asleep long. She started going from waking 1-2 times a night to 3-4 times a night. To make matters worse, Dan was out of town for a few days and it was just me and the babe. We found something that worked while he was gone. Not great, but it was survival. I would just nurse her and nurse her until she fell asleep and was as limp as a rag doll, then VERY carefully put her in bed. It felt like I was sitting in the chair and nursing ALL day and night. Finally, I realized it was time for something to change, my baby wasn't getting the precious sleep she needed and it was showing in her temperament, routine, and development! I wasn't brave enough to do it on my own, but after advice from family and friends and when Dan came home we were ready to try Sleep Training. I didn't think I would have any problem letting her cry, but it was SO much harder than I thought it would be! Part of what made it so hard was just knowing that I couldn't soothe my baby anymore. She had grown out of it and needed to learn to soother herself.
I got a lot of advice from family and friends and read the recommended books "Baby Wise" and "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby" and though I didn't agree with EVERYTHING, I loved most of what it said and I realized what I needed to do for my baby. Dan and I made a plan and fed Charlie, not letting her sleep so we knew she wasn't hungry. It took a lot of rubbing, talking, arm pumping, and more to keep her up and eating, but we managed to get her to take enough that I felt comfortable letting her cry to sleep. We sang her a song, put on the rain sound machine, put her down and left the room. I immediately started crying as we shut the door and she was starting to wail. It was so hard. I knew I had to do it, but I felt so helpless, incompetent, not confident, and just plain awful. Dan coaxed me to get out into the backyard to work on the garden, which acutally helped, but I spent most of the time crying or on the verge of it. I had the monitor on silent, but you could see the little red bars light up every time she cried. Every 10 mintues we would go back into the room and try to soothe her. We went in 4 times and then suddenly it was quiet...she was asleep. It was amazing! Then next time it took 40 minutes. The next few times it took 20 minutes, then 10, then 7, then 3, then this morning she never even cried, just one or two whimpers and she was out. Sometimes afternoons are still hard (like today), but she is definitely doing better. She isn't sleeping long at nights, but she is slowly working back up to it. She is definitely more rested and eating better and is much more content and happy when she is awake. It was so hard, and I'm sure it isn't done yet, but I am so happy my happy baby is back!
Who knew there was so much to learning to be a parent! And I'm sure I'm just scratching the surface!
For the first few months of Charlie's life the techniques of "The Happiest baby on the Block" worked miracles and I would recommend it to ANYONE! The idea of the 5 S's (swaddle, side/stomach position, shooshing, sucking (pacifier), swaying -more like a jiggle) worked so well for us to soothe and put Charlie-Marie to sleep. She even started sleeping longer (up to 7 hours) at night. Slowly (around 2 months) it started to take longer for it to work and sometimes took several tries to put her down to sleep. The last time the full technique worked for us was on her 3 month mark on the flight home from Washington (thank goodness it worked there!). That night she would NOT be put to sleep. She refused her pacifier (and has never taken it again since - I guess that makes weaning easy, but I don't think I was ready for it!) I spent hours trying to calm her and I tried EVERYTHING! Over the next few days everything started spiraling out of control as she fought sleep but was exhausted. She stopped eating well because she would fall asleep nursing, but wake up when I tried to put her down just to fall back asleep when I tried to feed her again. She became less content when awake and fussy most of the time. She was beyond exhausted, but would not be soothed until she crashed out of pure exhaustion and even then she would not stay asleep long. She started going from waking 1-2 times a night to 3-4 times a night. To make matters worse, Dan was out of town for a few days and it was just me and the babe. We found something that worked while he was gone. Not great, but it was survival. I would just nurse her and nurse her until she fell asleep and was as limp as a rag doll, then VERY carefully put her in bed. It felt like I was sitting in the chair and nursing ALL day and night. Finally, I realized it was time for something to change, my baby wasn't getting the precious sleep she needed and it was showing in her temperament, routine, and development! I wasn't brave enough to do it on my own, but after advice from family and friends and when Dan came home we were ready to try Sleep Training. I didn't think I would have any problem letting her cry, but it was SO much harder than I thought it would be! Part of what made it so hard was just knowing that I couldn't soothe my baby anymore. She had grown out of it and needed to learn to soother herself. 
I got a lot of advice from family and friends and read the recommended books "Baby Wise" and "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby" and though I didn't agree with EVERYTHING, I loved most of what it said and I realized what I needed to do for my baby. Dan and I made a plan and fed Charlie, not letting her sleep so we knew she wasn't hungry. It took a lot of rubbing, talking, arm pumping, and more to keep her up and eating, but we managed to get her to take enough that I felt comfortable letting her cry to sleep. We sang her a song, put on the rain sound machine, put her down and left the room. I immediately started crying as we shut the door and she was starting to wail. It was so hard. I knew I had to do it, but I felt so helpless, incompetent, not confident, and just plain awful. Dan coaxed me to get out into the backyard to work on the garden, which acutally helped, but I spent most of the time crying or on the verge of it. I had the monitor on silent, but you could see the little red bars light up every time she cried. Every 10 mintues we would go back into the room and try to soothe her. We went in 4 times and then suddenly it was quiet...she was asleep. It was amazing! Then next time it took 40 minutes. The next few times it took 20 minutes, then 10, then 7, then 3, then this morning she never even cried, just one or two whimpers and she was out. Sometimes afternoons are still hard (like today), but she is definitely doing better. She isn't sleeping long at nights, but she is slowly working back up to it. She is definitely more rested and eating better and is much more content and happy when she is awake. It was so hard, and I'm sure it isn't done yet, but I am so happy my happy baby is back! 
10 comments:
I love Baby Wise! That's what we used with Reagan and she's such a good sleeper now. It was so hard at first though, just closing the door and letting her cry. I'd just go to my room and cry. Jared would set the timer for 15 minutes and it seemed like she wailed until 14:30. Good to hear she's getting the hang of it! Keep on pushing through, I think sleep training is one of the most difficult steps.
Sleep training is so hard, SO HARD, on everyone. You're doing a marvelous job. Glad to hear things are looking better!
Sleep deprivation and sleep training are some of the hardest things I've done as a parent! It sounds like it is getting better though and it will continue to do so. Someday, you will be able to just tuck her in and she'll sleep all night long. It's coming, I promise (and about that time, I will be getting up all night again :)
oooooh, my heart breaks with you too. Sleep training is just plain awful for the nights it lasts. We love you guys so much! We are praying for little lady to sleep well. keep us posted. And, second-guessing is an amazing gift that almost all mommies I know have, so don't worry to much. The Lord will guide you as you go.
ugh.. that is so rough! So rough that I haven't had the courage to do it myself and our guy is 9 months old!!! We're getting there though... getting there. Good job mama! Oh.. and if you want to try to wean at night a good book is the sleep easy solution. But I'm sure you've heard of them all!
Whew! I got tired just reading your post. Keep up the good work!
You're doing a great job! Way to be strong and consisant... and Dan deserves some praise as well :) I've never heard a woman talk about letting her baby cry without mentioning how she couldn't have done it without her husband to keep her strong- myself included!
By the way, Charlie-Marie looks just like you... beautiful!
Oh i read and did the same things and it is so heart wrenching, but its totally worth it!
We did Baby Wise too. It's hard, it worked great with Emma and Gavin, but not with Charlotte. You will be so happy that you did it though when her schedule is predictable and both of you can get a good night sleep. Especially if she works up to the 11 hours... that was my fav! :) You'll get tons of advice from friends, family, and pediatricians over the course of being a mother. It's important to do your own research and do what you feel is best for your own child. Mother knows best! :)
Bare toes in the nice warm sand - and we get snow on May 24. What is with that?
That little girl of yours is certainly a cut addition to the family.
Post a Comment